Along our journey in life, we all learn to deal with situations and hardships in different ways. The majority of people learn to lean on the value system they learned at home, church or through personal experiences. We all learn to cope one way or another… we all process and learn to function in society and survive in our own way.
Our value and belief system is our TRUTH! We believe it, live by it, defend it and teach it to our children, but that doesn’t mean it is TRUE. The only TRUTH is the Word of God.
Let me share with you a personal encounter. I was abused for many years as a young girl and into my teenage years. I won’t go into detail, but I want to share a revelation. I learned as a child to act like it didn’t hurt, suppress the pain, and then in my teenage years used my extrovert personality and over achiever mentality to release the stress and push myself beyond my situation.
We all don’t understand why anyone has to endure such hardship and pain, especially as a small child…but GOD is still GOD no matter our circumstances. For many years I thought I was strong, because I was determined to make it!!! In my 30’s I was going through a major transition in my life and God so kindly reminded me that the inner strength I had become so familiar with, was a gift He so kindly graced me with for my journey.
In the midst of our storms, God, the Great I Am, covers us with His Grace to carry us through…for His strength is made perfect in our weakness. In this process God allows us to develop coping mechanisms that we LEAN ON, but not DEPEND ON. These coping mechanisms can be as simple as:
- A favorite stuffed animal as a child
- Comfort from a friend
- Words of encouragement from a parent, teacher, or coach
- Medication to help cope
- Focused areas: family, activities, education, sports, work, or even ministry
There is nothing wrong with all of these ways to bring comfort or release stress… but when the TEMPORARY coping mechanism becomes YOUR SOURCE of strength it becomes like a drug… leaving you empty and seeking for more.
Again, when I was in my 30’s, I was going through some major decisions in my life and dealing with all the baggage from my past… the coping skills that I had learned were no longer working as well and I was struggling. God began to speak to me and revealed it was time for an EXCHANGE. I didn’t know what He meant. Through all my tears and frustration, I wondered why all this stuff resurfaced…. because, I had already dealt with it and received healing… SURELY, someone understands where I am coming from!!!
Well, there is nothing like the Sweet Presence of God and all His Sovereignty!!! He began calling my coping mechanisms out by name…one at a time. He wanted an EXCHANGE. He wanted me to TRUST HIM and no longer lean and trust in the coping mechanisms, because what once was given under GRACE had become an IDOL in my life.
When you have learned to function in your dysfunction… as hard as it has been… no one wants to FREELY give it up (whatever that IT is for you).
The hardest thing about that day, I was at a women’s retreat in front of all of my friends and peer leaders and was totally exposed. Now, no one knew what was going on but could see the struggle. I felt like a little girl that day full of FEAR and no matter how hard I PLEADED AND BEGGED Him that day… He continued to be LOVING but FIRM. He had come for an EXCHANGE!
The hours seemed like years passing by. Memories were flooding my mind and all the pain, all the tears, and all the fear became real all over again. It was like some one was showing me a film on fast-forward but going back in time and then back forward to my current situation. I was a total mess that day! I felt like Mary with the Alabaster Box or Esther with the only possession she had to offer, ‘Her past, present and future.’
One my greatest STRUGGLES and FEAR that day was when I FREELY gave it back to GOD. It wasn’t just my coping mechanisms I was giving up; it felt like it was MY LIFE. It was so much more. It was the way I had learned to function. So, as I gave up all of me and all my ways of coping… HE gave me FREEDOM like I had never known. It was like I was SAVED all over again!
He is a GOOD GOD and He is fighting FOR YOU!
So, I encourage you to stop hanging on to all you know for fear of being totally exposed and grasping to hang on to your normal… functioning in your dysfunction.
It has been LONG ENOUGH and HE is here. So, TRUST HIM, because HE has come for the EXCHANGE.
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